


At Least He’s Still Alive

by lavender_macaronss



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort except you comfort yourself, I actually did have a plan, Tubbo is just rlly sad, Tubbo misses Tommy, but I got sad and stopped going to plan, so he cries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:33:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26738896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavender_macaronss/pseuds/lavender_macaronss
Summary: Tubbo can’t sleep. Not while Tommy is out there alone. Probably freezing and scared.Tubbo misses his friend, but he knows that he doesn’t deserve Tommy anymore, not after he  did nothing to help him.OrI got sad at 1 in the morning and when I woke up today I found this.
Relationships: Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Comments: 5
Kudos: 211





	At Least He’s Still Alive

Tubbo is a traitor. He knows it deep down, he knows that he doesn’t deserve Tommy’s trust anymore. He stayed. He stayed with Schlatt, he let himself be threatened into silence by someone who, years ago, he and Tommy had seen as an idol. 

The worst part was the way that he had frozen up. Schlatt had chased Tommy and Wilbur, Tubbo’s family, out of the nation they had built and Tubbo himself had stood there frozen. The guilt eats at him at night, as he hopes and prays that the other members of the cabinet can’t hear him crying. It’s been a week or so and the walls are already gone. Everything they built is gone. It’s not even the name they had chosen anymore.

Tubbo is alone in his bedroom in the White House, it’s late. Far too late for him to be awake, but he can’t possibly sleep. How is he meant to sleep with guilt eating away at him constantly. He stands up, groggily walks outside. 

The night is cold, and he isn’t even wearing shoes, but he can’t be inside that house. He has to get away, so he wanders out the front doors and to the podium. He stands at Tommy’s mic and looks at the moon. 

He thinks about Tommy’s smile, and how he doesn’t deserve to see it ever again. He thinks about L’manburg and how he ruined it, how he betrayed his family. He thinks a long while and before he knows it he’s holding onto the mic and crying his eyes out. He softly chokes out sobs into the empty night air. 

Then he looks back to the moon and thinks about Tommy. God, he hopes Tommy is okay. He thinks about how Tommy must be asleep somewhere far away. He’s probably cold, he’s probably low on resources and he surely must hate Tubbo now. 

That thought makes him cry again, makes him wish he could burn down the whole damn White House. He wants to scream and shout for Tommy, wants his friend to be beside him like he always used to be. He wishes to go back to the days when Tommy was always close. When he could simply shout and his friend would come sauntering over, pretending that he didn’t care.

Tubbo wonders for a moment whether Tommy is even alive-  
No. He has to be. Tommy wouldn’t let himself be killed.

He closes his eyes and lets the tears fall freely, but he is calm. Tommy is alive. Even if he hates Tubbo now, the fact that he’s still alive is enough for Tubbo. He may be far away, but he’s still alive and as long as Tommy’s alive, Tubbo can stay alive.

The thought doesn’t stop the pain, doesn’t make the guilt and the horrible empty feeling go away, but it softens the blow, so Tubbo goes back inside. He gets into his bed and closes his eyes. He falls asleep after a while and dreams of better days, when it was just him and Tommy.


End file.
